7 Important Truths About Divorce After a Long Marriage

SAS offers women six FREE months of email coaching, action plans, checklists and support strategies for you, and your future. As her daughter, I observed how Mum took the bull by the horns after her divorce. She did meet another man, John, a jazz musician, who moved in to live with us. They traveled together, went to concerts, and generally had an amazing time for five years until he sadly died of cancer. Mum remained single until her death in 2017 at age 83. Debby never pictured herself as a woman starting over after divorce at age 50+, but knows for sure that she is much happier to be on her own, answering to no one.

  • The couple had been married for 32 years, but it seemed he was planning to leave.
  • After my nearly 20-year marriage came to an end, I got it right the second time around.
  • But when you’re in your 40s, making new friends might be challenging.
  • I educate my clients and prospective clients about all of their different options.
  • A nice perk of being 40 is that you’ve likely worked on yourself and are more comfortable with who you are now than you may have been a decade or two ago.

From illustrator groups to motorcycle clubs, there are numerous types of meet-up uber horney reviews groups that spark joy—and love. Usually, those in their 40s or older are done “playing games” with the people they date, like younger people. In many cases, you won’t even have to ask someone in their 40s if they like you–they will tell you their honest feelings toward you. As people age and learn from experience, they usually know what they want or don’t want by 40, becoming more vocal about these things. At this age, they usually also develop values and what is important to them. There’s no limit to the places where you can find single, available men over 40 who may be looking for someone just like you. It may be helpful to keep your options open and try many things.

Being shadow-banned is when your account looks live but it’s actually being blocked from view from other potential matches. A lot of your friends are now married or are at least on their way to the altar. If that seems like a bummer it doesn’t have to be. When you’re coupled up, it’s fun to hang out with other couples. But it’s also nice to be able to help your single friends find someone special if they’re looking for love. “By engaging in activities that bring you joy, you attract like-minded people. Joining in on the fun raises your positive energy and you become like a magnet, attracting someone who has similar likes with a positive attitude,” she says.

Be open to reaching people away.

No one likes these types of surprises when it comes to dating, hence the show Catfish. Worst case – if you choose online dating photos when you had a full head of hair, and you’re now balding– the date isn’t going to go so well. There are several free apps available as well as paid sites to choose from. The top performers across the board for my clients are Hinge and Bumble, but I recommend diversifying your outreach with 5 different dating apps. Tell your friends that you are looking for a relationship and if they know someone you think would be a good fit, you would be open to getting set up with them or meeting them at an event. “Perhaps take a good hard look at some of your male friends and see if there is one that may stand out just a little.


Relationships can take commitment, compromise, and emotional maturity, so opening yourself up to the lessons of your divorce may benefit you. If you hope to meet someone new, dating after 40 can be possible. Just meeting new people can be enjoyable and help you make friends. If you feel embarrassed about seeking therapy, there are options for you. Online counseling with a relationship therapist through a platform like ReGain can be beneficial. Studies have found that men often prefer online therapy because it can be more discreet and is as effective as in-person options. Get yourself a counselor, a therapist, a mental health professional.

How To Survive Divorce At 40

I really did not want to have to move twice—once to move out and once more for a new tenure-track position. And, Mark needed the money that I would be giving him by continuing to split the household expenses. So, even after divorcing in December 2010, I did not move out until July 15, 2012. This means we lived together through three wedding anniversaries while broken up. A prenuptial agreement, or prenup, as they are called, usually outlines the distribution of assets so that in the event of a divorce, couples can avoid fighting over assets. A prenup contract lists each spouse’s property and assets and states how everything will be treated in the event of a divorce. A prenup may also outline how you will agree to split up financial assets. A pension earned by one spouse is looked at as a joint asset.

Then you all landed your first “big boy” job in your chosen profession. Soon after, many of you started engaging in longer courtships, and your circle of friends became smaller and tighter. When a long marriage ends, the seeds of the marital failure may have been sown decades before. As my dear friend contends, long marriages rarely end on a whim. Don’t forget to consider your hobbies and interests, either. After all, the way you spent your free time during your marriage might not entirely align with your own personal goals for relaxation and downtime.

Leave a Comment